Monday, February 10, 2014

Monday Feb. 10th: This journey is HARD

My Mom is pestering me for an update (love you mom) ... she must be getting lots of texts! I guess I've been putting this off in hopes I would have some really good news to share. We've come so far, and I'm so grateful to God that Derek is off that ventilator, out of the ICU, and that I can hear his voice again. That's a huge step forward...HUGE. In fact, the first day or two off the ventilator it really seemed like we were making the end of all this was in our sights.

But this is week 3 and my Derek is still very sick, the fevers will not stop, and we're all still looking for answers. (Sounds like a repeat, I know.) When one organ seems to be on the mend, another one starts having issues. And now Derek's awake and struggling thru this physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This journey is HARD. It's hard not seeing our's hard knowing they don't have us tucking them in every night. It's hard watching Derek suffer. It's hard watching him get lost in all this. I don't mean to be over dramatic...but this is reality for us at this moment.

We were having a desperate moment tonight in this hospital room...Derek, his mom, and I. So we started speaking truth out loud and praying...that He that is in us, is bigger than this...that the everlasting arms are wrapped around Derek...he need not fear...begging for healing and relief for Derek.

It's strange because a few days ago I was thinking we'd be at a different spot on this journey...or that Derek hurting wouldn't be so much a part of it.

So here we sit, listening to our iPod, grabbing onto our faith and surviving on the words of songs that point to our God. Please be praying for us, it's hard to wait. But God is asking us to.

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