Tuesday, August 11, 2015

light thru the trees

Sometimes when I'm sitting outside I catch a glimpse of the sun peeking at me thru the trees. It's one of my most favorite things in this world, this light shining thru trees thing. The moment it catches my eye, I take a deep breath and my heart smiles full and wide. And I'm reminded that God is here. Twinkling thru the seemingly big and small that surrounds us. Offering hope and light and enough to me right where I am.

It’s been quiet around here. I haven’t been writing much. Summer has been in full force, and we've been busy hitting the beach and riding bikes and sometimes even just lying around in the yard staring up at the trees. Planning some days, and going and doing, but mostly just trying to keep our kids content with the small things around here. 

I wish I could say that the craziness of summer is what's kept me from writing. But of course, it's never that simple, is it?

A month or so ago I got a call from Jennie Allen’s camp to share my anything story….to go live on a video podcast and answer a few questions about last year and all that God did for and in us when Derek fell ill. I remember being in shock when I first read the message. But I didn’t hesitate to say yes…which is surprising if you know me at all. 

Writing our story is hard enough for me, but opening my mouth and talking about it? Not my thing. But this story is God’s. So I said yes. And 24 hours later, I went on camera…in front of thousands…and really had no idea what I was even going to say. I had scattered thoughts written on a notebook paper… and I rambled in circles to myself all day and the words would just not come together. But I had friends praying for God to give me those words. Believing that if I was asked to do this to encourage just one soul out there, that the words I spoke would be the ones they needed to hear. 

And there I was, somehow calm and still without a real plan…waiting my turn to speak, waiting on the Holy Spirit, knowing the words would come. Crazy, right? Then something Jennie Allen said struck a chord in my heart. And one part of our story lit up within me and scripture came to mind and my mouth opened and words came out. 

Did it all make sense? Was it eloquent and perfect? Nope. But I truly believe the words I said came from God... so I will own them. I will own that whole moment in fact, even though I cringe when I see myself on camera and hear my own voice. I will own it because it was God’s thing. He asked me to do something crazy and laughable (because hello…me?) and I said yes.

And then…after being inspired and awed and used by God...I shut down. I hid. I quit writing. I think I was afraid of what might come next. Lots of people starting visiting my blog. And my comfort zone was off the radar. To put it plainly, I’m my worst critic. I’m hard on myself about being out here. There are so many blogs and writers and talented people doing big things. I have hard time seeing where I fit into all that. I don't want to "try" to do or be anything. I want to be me. 

The conclusion I’ve come to is that I don’t fit. I’m not a writer. I’m not a speaker. I’m just a girl. A wife. A mom. A child of God trying to follow where my God calls me. And for some reason, it’s here. To a keyboard late at night where I put words together and attempt to make sense of what God is doing in this heart and life of mine. And that, I can do. 

He fills in my empty spots, and I belong here writing because of Him. He makes me enoughI don’t need to fear the next big thing God asks me to do. Because just like the last time, He will give ALL that is needed, WHEN it is needed. 

He will shine that light of His thru those trees that I love so so much…and beam glory down onto the simple, imperfect and broken girl lying on the ground below. He whispers grace and gives words when I can’t seem to find any. 

He is the God that says…

“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; 
I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth.” 
Isaiah 42:16

He is the God that makes my rough places smooth. {Oh.thank.goodness}. 


  1. Beautiful, Dannette! Excited for you to simply be who God has made you to be and say yes to whatever that might look like. Glad I had the privilege of meeting you at the Barn in May, and so excited for you to get to go again. Twice in one year--whohoo!!

    1. Thank you Lauren! I LOVE THIS...your words. It is a freeing thought to just be me, whatever it may look like!!! And loved meeting you too. And, THE BARN, again???!!! Just nuts. I'll post pics ❤

  2. Thank you Dannette for this beautiful post. I feel like I've been fumbling in the dark these past few months, confused and unsure of what to do. Isaiah 42:16 felt like an arrow to my soul. It is just what I needed to hear- to be reminded that my God will be there, will guide me and never leave me. It is safe to trust in him. So thank you again for trusting God, allowing yourself to vulnerable and speaking. Your words have given this lady hope and encouragement.

    1. I'm so with you Momma P! The same arrow hit me yesterday morning when I read that verse in Isaiah. So glad God used it to bring that heart of yours a little peace, just like he did mine. It's hard to trust God with the unfamiliar...the path isn't completely lit so we can see the end. But I'm finding as I take steps with Him, I see just enough to take the next step. It helps to keep these eyes of mine on Him. XO