The last few days have
been hard on Derek. He was looking good one day and then stumbled into another
new complication. He's been in some pretty constant and terrible
pain. He's been undergoing some specific testing, but as usual, things remain a
mystery. Every test on this man shows nothing! We're trying to take it
as good news that he doesn't have "this" or
"that", but it's hard leaving so much unexplained.
I think we're coming to the realization that we'll never get the answers we're looking for. God is leading us thru this, and though it seems like we're blindly wandering about, He knows right where we are headed and why. It feels like we're waiting on the next test and the next after that for these answers, but maybe we should be looking at it differently. Maybe He wants to use this situation and these desperate moments to do something else...something other than give us positive test results...lol. There's a good chance we might be here awhile longer; my hope is that we can stay focused on our God and not get so caught up in the madness of answers. God knows every fiber of Derek's being, from even before he was born. I can trust him with the timing and every aspect of Derek's healing. He doesn't need the results of a scan to see Derek thru...he's GOD. Our ultimate hope is in Him, not this hospital. I'm not poo-pooing medicine or these fabulous genius doctors either...I'm talking about our faith and our focus. Psalm 139:13-16 says "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I'm fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." I might need to read psalm 139 daily just to remind myself of how much God knows about Derek, myself and this situation. He's aware of EVERY detail...
I think we're coming to the realization that we'll never get the answers we're looking for. God is leading us thru this, and though it seems like we're blindly wandering about, He knows right where we are headed and why. It feels like we're waiting on the next test and the next after that for these answers, but maybe we should be looking at it differently. Maybe He wants to use this situation and these desperate moments to do something else...something other than give us positive test results...lol. There's a good chance we might be here awhile longer; my hope is that we can stay focused on our God and not get so caught up in the madness of answers. God knows every fiber of Derek's being, from even before he was born. I can trust him with the timing and every aspect of Derek's healing. He doesn't need the results of a scan to see Derek thru...he's GOD. Our ultimate hope is in Him, not this hospital. I'm not poo-pooing medicine or these fabulous genius doctors either...I'm talking about our faith and our focus. Psalm 139:13-16 says "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I'm fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." I might need to read psalm 139 daily just to remind myself of how much God knows about Derek, myself and this situation. He's aware of EVERY detail...
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